To the readers of this post I am sorry if it gets ugly. Be warned its not to late to go read someone else's blog...
Yesterday I was broken up with. I have been in several relationships since I was old enough to date but I have been with cathrine for half of it (more than 2 years). I think she had every good reason to break up with me, I was told (in a matter of words) I am cold and uninviting. That is true but I didn't get a chance to explains why so I'm doing so now. I don't know for sure that I loved her, I know that there was something there I didn't feel for the everyday girl but there are other girls which I have know for a while but that I am not and have not been "with" that I feel much the same if not stronger about in that respect. It prompted me to wonder this morning when I woke up what exactly Love is... I know what its defined as "strong positive emotion of regard and affection." But love (according to Gordon B Hinckley) is an adventure. And when I was with Cathrine I didn't feel adventurous. I felt ...... Bored. Like I was missing something. Like we were missing part of the picture. Everyone has had a crush on someone before and (at least for a moment) were positive they felt the same way you. That is the fun part (as far as I can tell) of a relationship. I know its that antisipation that not knowing I think is better than the "love" I have professed to feel. In a way I don't think I know love yet. mabey next time? I have come to a crossing where I cant just let everyone in anymore because when people leave it hurts. I almost think it would be easier to not let anyone in because then no one can leave and I dont end up alone. but what do I know...
Yesterday I was broken up with. I have been in several relationships since I was old enough to date but I have been with cathrine for half of it (more than 2 years). I think she had every good reason to break up with me, I was told (in a matter of words) I am cold and uninviting. That is true but I didn't get a chance to explains why so I'm doing so now. I don't know for sure that I loved her, I know that there was something there I didn't feel for the everyday girl but there are other girls which I have know for a while but that I am not and have not been "with" that I feel much the same if not stronger about in that respect. It prompted me to wonder this morning when I woke up what exactly Love is... I know what its defined as "strong positive emotion of regard and affection." But love (according to Gordon B Hinckley) is an adventure. And when I was with Cathrine I didn't feel adventurous. I felt ...... Bored. Like I was missing something. Like we were missing part of the picture. Everyone has had a crush on someone before and (at least for a moment) were positive they felt the same way you. That is the fun part (as far as I can tell) of a relationship. I know its that antisipation that not knowing I think is better than the "love" I have professed to feel. In a way I don't think I know love yet. mabey next time? I have come to a crossing where I cant just let everyone in anymore because when people leave it hurts. I almost think it would be easier to not let anyone in because then no one can leave and I dont end up alone. but what do I know...
posted by End User at 9:47 PM
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3 Comments:
love comes and goes its crazy. really i thought i was sooo in love with michael but now im totally over him. i can remember what it felt like, but now when i see him or hang out with him theres nothing there. getting into a relationship is hard (any type of relationship) but a boyfriend/girlfriend one has got to be the hardest, but friends are a great comfort. and yes sometimes they leave to but if you're good friends to begin with you can usually work it out. i don't know if ive helped at all but i want you to know that i care about you and ive always thought you were a great guy.
you're a smart boy. you'll figure it out. but in the meantime, that's similar to how brittany and i were. we had so much going for us, but there was always a necessary element missing. so, we are just good friends again. and surprisingly, that is working out pretty well. good luck to you, buddy. you're going through something almost everyone has, is, or is going to go through, so join the club and buy the t-shirt! :) i don't mean to sound unsympathetic, i doubt you'll take it that way. you're doing great.
Remember that really long talk we had on the way home from Orem the last time we both went? THIS is what I'm talking about! Why put effort into something that isn't really there? why be in a relationship if you don't LOVE the person and intend to go farther than just dating. if you're not sure, don't go steady in the first place! that's what dating(meaning just dates, no commitments) are for! I am sorry that you are going through this, but I can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I hope all turns out well. Be happy!
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